Before a woman becomes awakened she lives much of her life unaware of her true power, her vast potential and her enormous prowess. She is essentially asleep. She searches for value and validation in everything outside of herself. She takes cues on how she should look from the images in media. She defines herself by her education level and job title. She comes to understand acceptance and rejection through her relationship with her first communities at school and her neighborhood.
In an effort to survive and to become, an unawakened woman plays out what she’s learned inside the home — both functions or dysfunctions. She is cavalier about her youth, heavily concerned with her beauty and outward appearance, and focused on career, friends, family and getting on with the busyness of daily living. In it all she is searches for herself. Though she may not know it she is trying to find her value and place in the world, trying to get a true understanding of who she is and how she fits in.
Very often an unawakened woman searches for answers outside of herself. She is asleep to her true value and she is primarily externally esteemed. She looks for love outside of herself, first. She yearns for affirmation from her family and friends. She seeks validation from lovers. She searches for confirmation from her communities and her neighborhoods. She constantly rests her head and her heart on the laurels of someone else’s opinions, ideas and must-have lists.
A woman that is unaware of who she is is asleep to the fact that she possesses the power to provide her own self with all that she is seeking. In fact, she must not just know it she must do it, she must become it. For a woman to awaken she first must affirm, validate and confirm herself — from within. She must do this before anyone else does. Many girls and women walk around looking for other people to tell them who they are and they fall prey to manipulation, misuse and abuse.
Here are five key traits of the awakened woman:
- Self awareness
- Self trust
- Self worth
- Self respect
- Self discipline
She is self aware
To become awakened a woman must first become aware of her self. Her ‘self’ refers to all aspects of her life. She must begin to objectively and intentionally take notice of her habits, thoughts, attitudes, relationships, patterns, emotions, physical states, reactions, desires, likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. Self awareness is a practice that allows for investigation and examination of one’s self.
The purpose of self awareness accounting is to gather information, like an audit of one’s self. It is not to judge, not to place blame, not to criticize but to get a more complete picture of how she shows up in the world. It is from this place she can begin to peel back the layers and identify the places in her life that need attention: healing, restoration, renewing, or even places that need to be built from the ground up. Self awareness is the first step in getting to self confidence and raising self esteem. It requires stating facts and truth.
She trusts herself
The process of a woman awakening requires that she begin to trust herself. She must begin to form a set of patterns and habits around trusting her own word. By building a habit of doing the things that she says she will do a woman awakening begins to strengthen the muscle of relying on herself and being dependable on herself, to herself, for herself. Once she has begun to do this she can effectively extend it to others. These traits build her self confidence and are transformative for her self esteem.
An awakened woman trusts herself to show up when she says she will. She keeps her appointments with herself and with others. She doesn’t over promise and not deliver. She carefully considers the cost of the commitment before agreeing. This can only happen if she is aware of herself and takes a birds eye view approach that allows her to make the best possible choice for herself and for others. This keeps her from the destructive patterns of self doubt and people pleasing. Self trust is a practice that allows an awakened woman to sharpen her integrity.
She sets her worth
An awakened woman understands that her worth comes from God; it’s an innate quality that she possesses that cannot be earned. Her uniqueness, her difference, her ability to be exactly herself is the very basis of her worth. Her value and worth are not based on performance, her looks, a title, her education level, her background, the color of her skin, her religious beliefs, her social media follower count, not her resume, nor her relationship status, not even her clothing size or her hair type, or any other measure. Her very existence in the world is her indication that she is more than worthy.
Furthermore, an awakened woman must set her value to what she predetermines that she is worth. She is very clear on all that she brings to the proverbial table: her gifts, talents, value systems, resilience. She is aware of every ounce of awesome that she possesses and then she sets her value at every level: job/career, romantic relationships, friendships, family, business, and with herself. The value she sets for herself will be the filter through which she lives her entire life. It is how she will determine what she will and will not accept in the world. It will affect how she moves through life. It is how she determines which relationships she gets into, which jobs she takes on, how much she charges, where she lives and how she lives.
She respects her boundaries
Boundaries are the language and blueprint of the life of an awakened woman. They are the very structure upon which she lays her foundation of how she chooses to live. Boundaries go hand in hand with values. They are a fence that keep her within safe quarters as opposed to a wall to shut others out. The values that a woman sets for herself dictate what boundaries should exist. {For example, If x is the value I set for myself then y and any other letter that is not x cannot be present.}
Boundaries remind the awakened woman of the lines between safety and danger. She has boundaries because she knows herself, her patterns, her weaknesses, her temptations and recognizes ahead of time anything that could threaten those boundaries. Because she is self aware she predetermines and prepares lines that she will not cross with herself and with others. She understands that if she compromises her boundaries she compromises her values and compromises her worth. An awakened woman guards and respects her boundaries, fiercely.
She trains her discipline
The awakened woman develops a strong habit of discipline and exercises it in all areas of her life. She develops and maintains discipline like a muscle that has to be constantly worked in order to get stronger. She practices discipline in small things and inconvenient activities that no one sees or that she is not praised for. An awakened woman trains her discipline against hard things and in difficult situations and at inconvenient times. She learns to run toward the challenge rather than away from it. An awakened woman understands discipline to be a guard rail against her weaknesses. Discipline kicks in when negative emotions or influences try to derail her destiny. It is because she develops the habit of discipline that an awakened woman is able to build her dreams and become the woman that she is meant to be.
The most powerful thing a woman can do is to awaken her true self. This is to realize her value and to take control of her life. She learns to face the world within before facing the world outside. She is to live aware of herself, to set her value, to trust herself and to set boundaries so that she can self actualize and show up fully as who she was created to be. She takes her position in life and uses discipline to execute her plans, goals, dreams even when she doesn’t feel like it. The awakened woman is wise, brilliant and resilient.
Woman, awaken!
Creative Direction + Styling: Diarra Yaw | Photography: Evelynn Photography | Production Assistant: Irina Javid | Makeup: Phillipine Demeestere Models: Remi Brixton and Annelise Adams